Believe it. When I trained as a birth doula, I remember hearing the breastfeeding instructor tell us that it was “possible” for a mother who had never given birth to produce milk and nurse her baby. Of course, this was fascinating to me.
Fast forward 4 childless years later, and we were facing big decisions about what to do next in our infertility journey. We had tried many different things hoping to become pregnant, but came to a place of peace that adoption was the route we ultimately wanted to go. Afterall, it was something that we had always both talked about, but like many other couples first wanted to “have our own” children. After mourning that having biological children was just not in the cards for us in this chapter of our lives and deciding that heading down a potentially long road of medical interventions that may or may not lead us to a baby, we realized that adoption was a promising and very exciting option for us. (You can learn more about our adoption story HERE or see the video about how we got to bring our daughter home HERE).
As soon as we decided that we wanted to adopt, I knew that I would do all that I could to try to nurse this baby. While experiencing the joys (and discomforts) of pregnancy was not an option for us through this route of domestic adoption, I knew that nursing a baby was. As I researched more, I was overjoyed to find out that not only was lactation possible, but that you could even nurse a baby with no milk or with no lead time at all. This was very encouraging to me as the adoption process is so unpredictable about WHEN you might be matched with a baby. I also learned that while we were hoping to get a newborn, it was also still possible to nurse an older child given gradual attachment and nurturing, and a lot of patience.
There are many different ways to approach inducing lactation. There are medical and non medical ways, ways to use herbs, or just a pump or even through hand expression. The most simplistic way is to just put a baby to breast, and let the milk come later, as is done in many cultures around the world.
After weighing all the various options, talking about it with area Lactation Consultants, and reading the book Breastfeeding Without Birthing by Alyssa Schnell, I decided to choose a medical protocol, and also use acupunture and herbs. We simultaneously started the adoption process, and the ever daunting home study ensued. I started the protocol in late May— taking a birth control estrogen and progesterone combination pill, along with a medication that would help me produce milk. I also started taking herbs to increase my breast capacity, and went to acupunture weekly to increase the blood flow in my body and breasts. Just four months later, we were matched with a baby due to be born late November— exactly 6 months after I started the protocol. This would be somewhat ideal timing, as I had hoped to be taking the birth control for about this long before stoping taking it and starting to pump which would bring my milk in. My plan was to start pumping 6 weeks before the baby’s guess date. When you induce lactation, your milk comes in very gradually rather than all at once as it does after you give birth.
Miraculously, I had drops on the first day! I was dedicated— pumping 10-12 times daily, demanding my body to produce milk just as a newborn baby would. It slowly built from there— and by the time we went to my daughters birth— a mere two weeks later— I was pumping 1-2 ounces of milk at each pumping session. I was thrilled, and had new found faith that my body was amazing. I was reclaiming the womanhood that infertility had tried to take from me. I felt more empowered that I was doing all that I could to nurture this little one. I had stored enough milk to last the first few days after she was born if I needed to supplement, and planned to use an at-breast supplementer to give my daughter additional milk when she needed it, while still allowing her to learn to breastfeed.
My supply build in the beginning was still gradual. I was supplementing with 1-3 oz. of milk per feeding, depending on the part of my cycle I was in. I estimated that on average, I was able to meet 50-70% of her daily needs, which I felt extremely happy with. This was not a cake walk. Not even close. I was offering her the breast around the clock to increase my supply as much as possible, and still pumping 2-3 times every day after feedings. There were frustrations and tears with getting the right latch and figuring out that STUPID (yet helpful) at breast supplementer. But, to me, it was worth it. Nourishing my daughter with my milk was a wonderful gift to give, and nurturing her at the breast everyday was an even greater gift that helped me to attach to her as much as it did her to me. While breastfeeding is not the choice for every mother, I was happy to learn that it still could be an option for us as it was something that I desired very much.
My husband, family, and community, though at times uncertain about all the details, were extremely supportive of me breastfeeding, and I could not have done it without them. Now my daughter is 14 months old, and still nursing everyday (and night). We are both enjoying this journey, and I am so thankful for how it has brought us together. I hope that every mother pursuing adoption knows that this can be a wonderful option— weather to nourish a baby or child, or simply to nurture with comfort nursing. If you are interested in more information, you can learn more HERE or HERE.
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